Mystery Shopping

So I've started mystery shopping as a way to supplement our household budget and have an excuse to eat out every few weeks.

Mystery shoppers are independent contractors who will purchase goods or use services and then report back on their experiences to mystery shopping companies, who in turn have contracts with the stores and restaurants themselves. They are frequently reimbursed for their expenses and paid a fee as well for performing the job.

Some of my favorite jobs so far have been having food delivered to my house, checking gift card displays, and going to fast casual restaurants on somebody else's dime. It's been a way to earn some extra money and have fun.

Many mystery shopping companies also look for auditors, and I have done several audits for different firms. They might include checking a store's inventory or taking pictures of an office space and asking questions of the person who works there.

If this sounds interesting, a few caveats:
Never answer an e-mail from a company that you haven't contacted first.
Never accept any job that sounds like a scam from a Nigerian prince (you'd be surprised).
Before you sign up with a company, check with the BBB.
Another place to find out about worthwhile (and poor) companies is the forum over at Volition.com
Find out whether the website is secure and encrypted before sending any sensitive information.
To avoid giving out your SSN, you can sign up to get an Employee Identification Number from the IRS.
Pay attention to your actual wage per hour. It can be quite low, especially if you read or type slowly.

It can be difficult to make a lot of money mystery shopping, but you can certainly have some fun and get a little extra cash if you want. As with everything in your life, make sure that the time you spend is reaping a worthwhile investment.

Why the Lord Ordained Prayer

Josh and I have been studying what it means to pray with real intent of heart, and I came across this AWESOME conference talk from none other than Elder Bruce R. McConkie.

By the way, I've discovered that praying with real intent of heart means at least two things: first, having the intent to do our best, second, having faith that the Lord will follow through. Interesting, no? I never thought about the second part as being as important as being willing to do our part to achieve what we desire, like not being a jerk while praying to forgive someone who hurt us.

Anyway, here's the link for anybody who could use a boost this morning.

Priesthood Session

I haven't done well with the last few sessions of General Conference. I always have the idea that somehow I'll get around to reading all of the conference talks. Josh reads one every day when he sits down at his desk to work, but I don't have a desk. So I need to be more creative. Instead, while Guy is eating breakfast every morning, my plan is to read a conference talk while he reads his scriptures. Brethren, We Have Work To Do was given by Elder Christofferson, and the first few paragraphs shook me up a bit. Go take a look and read them, and then come back. I am the primary caregiver for my children; while I want them to learn as much as they can from their father and the other men in their lives, they have primarily female teachers and leaders. I need to support my boys becoming men. And that means teaching them the value of work. I am more than happy to do all the work for my kids, because it means no whining, no unacceptable executions, and my kids get to play--which they love. I'm becoming more convinced that I'm a clown for thinking that's anything other than a lousy idea. So please tell me how you teach your children the value of work. Because I'm thinking that emptying the silverware from the dishwasher just isn't enough real work for a 6-year-old.

A message of hope

Every person is different and has a different contribution to make. No one is destined to fail.

No one is destined to fail

 “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. “Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”


“The wicked flee when no man pursueth:
but the righteous are bold as a lion.”


“Nevertheless, ye are blessed, for the testimony which ye
have borne is recorded in heaven for the angels to look upon; and they rejoice over you, and your sins are
forgiven you.”

Affirmations

I am a daughter of God. He loves me. He wants me to succeed. I am capable of changing. I am strong. I am building strong and healthy relationships.

Opportunities

Sometimes it feels like amazing things just fall into our laps and so that means that they are meant to be.
But what if they're not.  How do we know?
Once we had the opportunity to live with an old man and be his caretakers.  Rent free, + $500/month.  It sounded amazing.
And it was.  And it also was awful.  Because I had a little 1 year old and hubby had a long commute and it simply wasn't good for our family.
But I learned A LOT.  About myself, about parenting, and about senility.  So that was good, but I was bitter for a long time because life had been really good and then this opportunity came along and we prayed about it and it felt right and it ended up being kinda sucky.
So now when seemingly good things happen I feel a little trepidation.  I keep wondering if God's just trying to screw with me.  Oh, me of little faith.  I guess this goes back to the post about feeling the spirit. Sooooo hard!!

So tell me

So tell me, do you ever find yourself looking in the mirror at a woman who feels badly that she hasn’t yet made flower-shaped soap?

Nah, me, neither.

But still this article about kids needing their moms, even if those moms aren't perfect, is a good one. Enjoy! And hug your babies a little closer.

From the Power of Moms

Something to read

I don't have the time today to discuss this, but it's something I'm pondering today as I'm realizing our family dynamic is getting out of control.

There are WAY too many tense moments and negative emotions and blaming (parents AND children) going on around here.

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/02/what-your-toddler-thinks-of-discipline/

I have a question

How do you differentiate between your own emotions and the Holy Spirit bringing personal revelation?

Eliza R. Snow once said . . .

“God bless you, my sisters, and encourage you, that you may be filled with light, and realize that you have no interests but in the welfare of Zion. Let your first business be to perform your duties at home. But, inasmuch as you are wise stewards, you will find time for social duties, because these are incumbent upon us as daughters and mothers in Zion. By seeking to perform every duty you will find that your capacity will increase, and you will be astonished at what you can accomplish.”

Let's see here.
1st business: perform your duties at home
2nd business: social duties

BUT if you are wise stewards in fulfilling #1, you will find time for #2.

And by seeking to perform EVERY duty, your capacity will increase.

This reminds me of having a baby who never napped. When he did nap, it was INCREDIBLE the amount of work I could accomplish in an hour. Prior to motherhood, a list of such magnitude would require half a morning, or most of a day.

Or grocery shopping with kids. Remember how with your first, it was all you could do to GET to the store with the baby in tow? Once that one is a little more grown up, two seems such a handful! Then you get to three, who always come with you. Busy times, indeed.

But when my other two are elsewhere, and it's just the baby and I shopping? Amazing how easy it seems!

Our capacity increases as we seek to perform all our duties. I need to remember this as I try to instill more order in my home, in our days, and in my mind.

Dating

I know the women who read (or used to read) this blog have young kids, but I came across this post that I found fascinating.

"The culture of dating is a culture of hunger and unsatisfied eyes that are always looking around for affirmation via someone or something else."

I've been thinking about dating, and what kind of relationships I want to encourage my children to engage in such that they can have successful marriages. Whenever I am struggling to find a fulness of joy in my own marriage, I turn to thinking about what I want for my kids and how to foster success in their future.

This post, found through another blogger's tumblr, gave me some interesting things to think about, the most forward of which I agree with: young kids who are dating are setting themselves up for a bad relationship with "relationships".

The Prophet Said to Plant a Garden

We live in on-campus graduate/married student housing. It's a lovely place, and in the center of the complex is a big hill with a house turned office on top. Behind said office is a little fenced-in garden with 24 or so garden plots. A friend called me up last week and asked if I'd like to use her plot for the summer, as she's too busy to do much with it. Would I ever!

I got a look at it last week, and went up three or four times to try to clear the ridiculously tall weeds. I've cleared maybe a quarter of the plot, and discovered a patch of strawberry plants and some mint. I'm worried about the mint, as I know it's pretty invasive, but it should make for a fun summer. Or rather I thought it would.

Until I sprained my ankle on Saturday afternoon. At a birthday party (which was held by an LDS family during a session of general conference--which I don't get) I stepped off a deck onto uneven ground and ended up with a nasty bruise and had to hobble home using the stroller as a walker. It's easier to put weight on it today, but it's still a bit swollen and I'm trying to be careful.

Did you know, as a mother of three small boys who's accustomed to doing most household tasks, it's extremely difficult to force oneself to relax and put your feet up? It's hard! Perhaps I need to slow down and relax more mindfully more often. It feels good to put my feet up and say no to the kids' unceasing demands.

It makes me think about boundaries. Which makes me think about this post about boundaries. I love the idea of modesty's relationship to boundaries.

So many topics, so little motivation

I think instead of Facebook I'll spend more time here.

Right now, I'm feeling pretty empty. I'm tired. So tired that yesterday, on the playground while watching three active kids, I fell asleep at least half a dozen times. Standing up was just too exhausting.

I thoroughly love my life. I'm getting a decent amount of sleep. But something has wiped me out, and I'm struggling to replenish it as I simultaneously try to keep up with life! Today I had one goal, outside of feeding the kids, getting outside, and watching our friend Sophie (5 months and cute as a button!). That was to vacuum. It's 5 p.m. and the vacuum is still in the closet, dinner is unmade, and I am contemplating another nap. I fell asleep earlier, but it didn't last long.

It could be that I'm at the natural ebb in my monthly cycle, (or would it be the flow part? Ha! Bad joke, I know) or that I haven't been taking my vitamins consistently for over a month. Maybe I need more green vegetables?

Or maybe, just another nap. And some more m&m's.

Fences

This was a horrible weekend. My chickens were killed by my neighbors dog. The black lab broke free of it's tether, dug a hole under the fence and attacked. We were devastated. They were more than egg layers, they were our pets. We knew their quirks and personalities and it has been very difficult to let them go in this way. Shortly after everything happened, a friend from the ward came by to see how I was and I told her what happened. She was pretty sympathetic, having grown up on a farm.
We got to talking about it and saw some interesting gospel lessons in what happened. She had just gotten back from her sister whose husband had just left her for younger, prettier girl. They had been married in the temple, both served faithfully in their callings, had 4 daughters, and appeared to be a very happy, normal family.
On the surface my backyard looked pretty safe. Fully fenced, lots of places to dig, and fully fenced. And I took that fence for granted. I knew of the weak spots, but I knew no animals lived in that yard. I never, ever could have imagined a dog digging under the fence so I let my guard down. And as each day my ladies remained unscathed passed, the more relaxed I became.
I do that with my family too. We go to church, pray, have FHE, read scriptures...our family is fully fenced, right? But Satan is there, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Do we really know our childrens' friends? Do we nitpick at our spouse or yell at him and the kids? Do we spend so much time worrying about the kids that we neglect our marriages or even ourselves? How many times have I skipped personal scripture study because I read with the family?
We can't be paranoid, but we can't just assume that having a spiritual fence up means we're safe from Satan. Even the prophet and apostles are not immune to him. Let's be careful to not be these people:

And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell. 2 Nephi 28:21

And if you have chickens or ever plan to get some, protect and watch them like you would a 9 month old.

Plan Meals and Use Up Food to Show Gratitude to God

That's right.  I belive we can show gratitude to God by using the blessings we've been given instead of throwing out that perfectly good grilled chicken because we forgot about it.  Now in the interest of not being hypocritical, you should know I took an entire bag of grapes out to the chickens this morning because I forgot about them.  It was very wasteful and I was very ticked at myself.  Here's how I'm combating this thriftless habit of mine.
We've been massively organizing our home over here at the Small House.  Part of that has been adding cleaning charts, and rearranging things to make them easier to use/keep organized.  I'm writing about it more at that blog (because that's the kind of stuff I blog about), but I wanted to show one of my favorite new things here.  One of the most helpful things has been the addition of this whiteboard.  It helps me keep the food organized. 

 I labeled it like a restaurant board because it made it more fun and less chore-like for me.  For the days of the week and the titles I used wet-erase marker and I use dry erase for the rest so I can easily wipe it off without having to rewrite everything.  We have a couple of meal traditions that make planning easier like Sunday brinner and pizza Tuesday.  The rest I decide as I see what we have and what needs to be used (I have extra sausage from Sunday so were' having egg & sausage muffins tomorrow), and what's on sale. 
My favorite has been where we write leftovers.  We keep all food storage containers above the dishwasher which is to the right of the board.  We put the food in, then write what's in the container with dry erase (why didn't I think of this before?!  It comes right off!) and then write it on the board.  When the container is emptied and goes into the dishwasher (again, right by the board) we erase what's written on it (usually with a finger) and then erase it off the dry erase board.  Viola! (pretend I know how to type the accent mark)

I felt we needed a picture so here's a drenched chicken happily full of worms coming up from the wet earth

I detest wasting perfectly good food, especially when I want so much to keep our grocery bill down.  Now when I notice something needs to be used, like the starting-to-go-limp-broccoli, I add it to the menu.  We're eating better and I'm buying less because we're using more.  Except for grapes.
I'm thinking I need to make room for a list of fruit we have that I assume will be snacked on, but then isn't, so I no longer throw out delicious grapes I get at amazing prices.
It's still in progress, but I'm already seeing improvement in my attitude towards cooking and buying food and the family likes knowing what to expect for dinner.
I wanted to add this awesome except from a Relief Society newsletter from 1875 I read here (you have to scroll down a ways so I'm adding it here as a block quote to save you time because I love you).  Though nearly 150 years old, I find it quite apropos for our society today and something to which I want to give more thought.  Hopefully minus the self-inflicted guilt trip; forget not to be patient with myself :), right? 

Is wastefulness a sin? If so, how very guilty in this respect are Americans as a people. Living has been so easy in nearly all portions of this country, food so plentiful and so readily obtained, that little or no care has been manifested by the great mass of people as to how or whence it came.

People are lavish of fuel, lights, material for clothing, and indeed, whatever Is employed in keeping house, throwing away in preparation nearly as much as is made use of, and using twice as much as is needed of almost everything.

Servants and children follow in the footsteps of their masters and parents, and learn to waste and destroy enough to support largo communities in good style if what is thrown away could be judiciously put to use. Miserly covetousness is worse than despicable, but to save and make some use of every last article, even the smallest bit of rag that may be ground up and made into paper, is in no wise mean, but would be honorable in the wives and daughters of millionaires as well as of mechanics or laborers.

The great Creator has placed around His children the numberless varieties of beauty and use to cheer and gladden their lives, but not that they should become idle and indifferent over them by being abundantly blessed with the good things of the earth.

In the midst of luxury, we should seek to cultivate simple habits which are the greatest producers of genuine happiness, longevity and usefulness. Children should be taught to be less self-indulgent and more industrious than many are, and women should at least superintend their own households and see that nothing is left to go to waste which might be beneficial to some one of our Father’s creatures, if not to themselves.

No bread tastes so sweet as that which is fairly earned ,and no poverty can be so stinging and mortifying as that which comes of carelessness and extravagance. Live prudently and within your means is an excellent rule to hold to.

 

End of Another Week

I'm ditching Facebook. It's a time-suck for me, and if Elder don't-remember-his-name-from-the-Seventy is right and I have to give a strict accounting of my time, I don't want to get to the pearly gates and say, "I spent 400 hours of my life checking facebook statuses without contributing to anybody's lives."

This week I fell asleep in the car and got in an accident. It was minor, thankfully. We were both stopped at a red light, and I dozed off and my foot slipped off the pedal. I bumped his car and woke up. Thankfully he was really gracious and isn't contacting insurance or filing a police report, I just gave him enough money to get his bumper fixed.

PSA: DON'T DRIVE WHILE DROWSY. It wasn't late, either. It was noon. To all you young moms, get enough sleep! Take naps! And if you're drowsy, don't kid yourself. Pull over and do jumping jacks, or get a soda, or something.

Other things this week; I take things too seriously and do not do enough fun things with my husband. Yesterday I went to the gym with him and it was such a blast! We enjoyed spending time together out of the house without the kids. Obviously this isn't something we can do very frequently with young kids who need us, but whenever we can manage it we need to do it more!

And now? The farmer's market. And cleaning my ridiculously filthy house. Holy cow, how does it get SO NASTY SO FAST?

How did that happen?

A week since my last post, already? I had such high hopes for this blog!

Turns out, I hate uploading or finding photos. And my priorities right now are not this blog, but rather my husband, kids, and own education. Who knew it meant blogging would go by the wayside so soon!

But I had a few things to share.

FIRST: New method of behavior modification
We wrote a set of family rules during FHE, and the kids actually came up with them. Every time the kids break a rule, they have to "turn a card". They go from "Super" to "OK" to "lose a bedtime story" to "lose toys and books in bed" to "no computer time", etc. Every morning when they wake up, if yesterday's card was super or OK they put a pompom ball in an empty apple juice jug. When it's full, we take them bowling! So far, the excitement has not worn off. We'll see how motivating bowling proves to be.

SECOND: Making my priorities show
I made the decision to read my scriptures and general conference talks instead of blogs. I still have my feed reader with 10 or so dedicated reads, which I check a couple times a week. I also made the decision to stop watching shows on the computer during the day, something I did a lot of in the old apartment when we still had two computers. Now we're down to one it's harder to do.
And it makes me happier! The scriptures and prayer are bringing a light into my life with which I not well-acquainted. It's lovely, really. Some days are harder than others, and I don't always keep with it, but when I do my family is happier and I am happier and it's easier to work hard instead of laze about.

Amazing.

Fatigue

I know what I need to do. I'm tired and don't want to do it.

I know the dishes need to be washed, but I want to write an e-mail.

I know the bathrooms need to be cleaned, but I want to play UNO.

I know that dinner needs to be cooked, and I'd prefer it be from scratch and healthy, but frozen pizza (cheaper than takeout) is easy.

How do you get the motivation to do what needs to be done? I'm a mother who knows, but do I know enough? It's not motivating me to do everything. I know I can't be perfect, but I don't know what's acceptable . . .

Today was a depressive day. I just wanted to wear yoga pants, eat cookies, and sleep. Or read a book, since I have young children who need supervision. But I refrained! I did the dishes! I took Guy to preschool! I went to the library and Trader Joe's and Ace Hardware with kidlets in tow! And it helped.

I once heard this advice, "It's okay to feel depressed. It's not okay to 'do' depressed." Meaning, you have to shower, get dressed, and tend to normal life, even if you want to cry the whole time. And it helped.

This post was brought to you by "up-one-day-down-the-next-where-she-stops-nobody-knows" Emily.

Linky link time!

Fruit snacks made from zucchini and kool-aid packets. I kid you not. All you need is a dehydrator, or a sunny spot, I imagine.
http://thespasticcat.blogspot.com/2011/09/zucchini-fruit-snacks-yum.html

If your kids are really young (I mean REALLY young) an interesting read on no-nonsense parenting regarding picky eaters.
http://fimby.tougas.net/raising-non-picky-eaters

Baked chocolate doughnuts. Can't wait to try this recipe!
http://www.laraferroni.com/2010/09/16/baked-chocolate-doughnuts/

7 Ways to Fight Slavery at the Grocery Store
http://news.change.org/stories/7-ways-to-fight-slavery-at-the-grocery-store

Enriching Your Marriage, James E. Faust
http://lds.org/ensign/2007/04/enriching-your-marriage?lang=eng

Marriage and Divorce, David B. Haight
http://lds.org/general-conference/1984/04/marriage-and-divorce?lang=eng



And in unfortunate news, Josh's Virginia dad left for Kabul for a two-year civilian post this past Sunday night. His mother left for a business trip on Thursday morning. Thursday night, the basement flooded with 18" of muddy water that literally broke the door frame as it forced its way into the house. They've lost all of the furniture that was in the basement (two people are living there at present) and a fair number of other items as well. Josh's dad's been working for over a year on making an apartment down there, and all the cabinetry, baseboards, and doors are ruined. Luckily he was smart and the drywall is still dry and there's no carpet to be removed.

His 18-year-old brother is doing remarkably well considering the strain, but it makes me think of all the people who suffer from the extremes of weather.

Revamping FHE

My son turns 8 in a year!  8!  Accountability, covenants with Heavenly Father, and the gift of the Holy Ghost.  Parenting just got a lot more serious for me.  Up until now, Family Home Evening has been mostly about time together and having fun.  We'll get ice cream, play a game, and read a scripture and pray.  But I was recently talking to a friend who has a daughter the same age as mine and we talked about how weird it was that they'll be baptized in a year and the full weight of that sunk in to us.  I just don't want him to be baptized because "everyone else is" or because it's expected of him.  I have told him it's his choice and I stand by that.  And I also believe it needs to be an informed choice.
I think the best place for this teaching is Family Home Evening, but I've been a little lost on where to start.  We've often used the Gospel Art Kit for FHE lessons, but that just didn't seem like enough for me with this.  So after my friend blogged about this, someone commented and suggested using Preach My Gospel.  I love the idea so much I wanted to tell you about it.  I seems like such a perfect way to teach him what he needs to know before making this important decision. 
Parneting is so scary sometimes.  One year after baptism he'll turn 9, halfway through his childhood.  Have I taught him enough?  Does he know the important things, that he can trust me, that he can trust God?  I worry that he doesn't think so with the ways I've lost my temper and I really need to fix that.  I suppose that's for another post though....