Revamping FHE

My son turns 8 in a year!  8!  Accountability, covenants with Heavenly Father, and the gift of the Holy Ghost.  Parenting just got a lot more serious for me.  Up until now, Family Home Evening has been mostly about time together and having fun.  We'll get ice cream, play a game, and read a scripture and pray.  But I was recently talking to a friend who has a daughter the same age as mine and we talked about how weird it was that they'll be baptized in a year and the full weight of that sunk in to us.  I just don't want him to be baptized because "everyone else is" or because it's expected of him.  I have told him it's his choice and I stand by that.  And I also believe it needs to be an informed choice.
I think the best place for this teaching is Family Home Evening, but I've been a little lost on where to start.  We've often used the Gospel Art Kit for FHE lessons, but that just didn't seem like enough for me with this.  So after my friend blogged about this, someone commented and suggested using Preach My Gospel.  I love the idea so much I wanted to tell you about it.  I seems like such a perfect way to teach him what he needs to know before making this important decision. 
Parneting is so scary sometimes.  One year after baptism he'll turn 9, halfway through his childhood.  Have I taught him enough?  Does he know the important things, that he can trust me, that he can trust God?  I worry that he doesn't think so with the ways I've lost my temper and I really need to fix that.  I suppose that's for another post though....

Narnia

I want to know if anyone else has seen this.  There is a difference in the way my kids play pretend when they're copying a book or something they watched.  When they read a book, they follow the general storyline, but they break the rules.  They add things or change something.
But when they pretend a movie they've seen, I hear a lot of "that's not what he said" or "no they did it THIS way"  Unfortunately I also noticed that in school.
 Kids are away from home for 7 hours. They had to read the books teacher gave, which, for the more advanced readers consisted of whatever uninspiring fluff was "at their reading level" because teacher is more concerned with the kids who still aren't reading, and do their homework and by the time they had dinner, burned off some energy, and cleaned their room, it was time to go to bed.

During all of this last year, my son had stopped playing.  He still used his imagination, (I wanna build a space ship!) just not in the same way.  The way that kids do when they can see fairies and pirates.
He still went outside and ran around, but it was more burning off energy.  I hadn't noticed he had stopped until he started again.  It's wonderful to watch!
My son is reading the Narnia books right now, so yesterday he and his little sister were running about the house and outside jumping into puddles and going to different worlds and coming back to tell me what they saw.
They brought me silver apples and the white witches wand (she's a good witch now, btw, who helps animals when they get hurt).  And told me about adventures that didn't exist in CS Lewis's mind.

At one point my son asked if I could go into the wardrobe to Narnia and I said, "I can't.  I'm a grown up."  And he told me he wouldn't grow up and I wanted to read him "Peter Pan".
And it was one of those moments that we as mothers package up and store away in our minds and frequently unwrap and look at as our children grow.  I know he'll only do it a few years more and I want to treasure it.

I think preserving our children's imaginations is so important and it needs to be taken more seriously.  I get so tired of robot kids who can't think for themselves because I was one of them.  The only solution I know of is to give them more "free time" (not scheduled 15 minute recesses) and good books.  And then, as recently posted, stand back and watch.  They know how to do the rest.

Keep Your Eyes Ahead

Every month at Pack meeting I get to give my "cubmaster's minute".  It's where I give a nice little thought and wrap up the evening with a bow.  A few months ago I told the boys that goals are like driving.  You have to keep your eyes ahead to stay straight and stop worrying about all the little lines on the road of you'll veer off.
I feel like that with my parenting.  We've been homeschooling for 2 week now (yes, that's why I haven't blogged much) and I can see how easy it is to get bogged down in little details.
"You didn't do your grassland worksheet today!!!"  Like it's really that big of a deal.  Nevermind that we went outside and looked at grass and talked about how it flowers and spreads it seeds, he didn't do the worksheet!
I'm struggling to decide how to do this.  I feel like I have to have all this work to show anyone who criticizes our choice.  "See, he did all this work, that means he's learning."  And I'm not focusing on the big picture, on showing him the incredible things he can learn about. 
We're supposed to learn about the Hittites next week.  I mean, I find the Hittites fascinating, but then, I also got a BA in world history.  I can promise you I never learned about them til college.  So why am I adding them to a second grade curriculum?  I'm not sure I want to take them off either, I'm just debating these things on here.
When I focus too much on the curriculum instead of one just letting him soak things in, it hurts the process.  I think this is a problem for teachers too.  So many worksheets to prove your kid didn't waste their time.  I've read so many homeschooling books and spent so much time planning and not enough on my knees asking the One who knows my son best what I need to be teaching him.
My husband is still nervous about this whole homeschooling adventure and wants updates, and I don't blame him.  I want to do a good job, I don't want to fail my child.
But isn't there a time and a season for everything?  I'm kindof thinking this season is for him to develop secure family relationships, not be able to name every class of vertebrates in less than 10 seconds.
I know I do this a lot day to day.  I worry too much about whether the chores were done or clothes were put away and not enough about whether the spirit was in our home that day. 
Gotta keep my eyes ahead.

"And then proceed to read some more..."

I've been thinking after Em's post. Kids really are sponges.

We used to watch a lot of tv. You guys know how it is with toddlers. It's SO easy to let them keep watching. We had the PBS lineup memorized. Because for some reason if it's PBS that means it's okay for them watch for hours on end, right?

Does anyone else's kid get obsessed with whatever has been watched recently? We've watched some old Dr Who for movie nights and now my son talks about it ALL THE TIME.

Just wondering.

Anyway, I've had this going through my head all day. It's one of my favorites to quote to my kids when they want to watch movies all day :)

I also might quote it subversively when my husband mentions buying a tv....

"Mike Teavee"

(from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl)

"The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set–
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotized by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all the shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink–
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK–HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY...USED...TO...READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy–Winkle and–
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole–
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks–
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.
And once they start–oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee,
We very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see
If we can get him back his height.
But if we can't–it serves him right."

Answers to Prayers

God gives us trials to humble us or to answer prayers.

This winter the roof of our deck collapsed. Home owners insurance covered it but we had a $500 deductible. However, since we opted to not replace it we ended up making money off it which can now go to replacing our very old roof :)

My 11 month old has been clingy and fussy since she was about 2 months old. It has been peaking the last month and I found myself feeling a lot of resentment and yes, even hatred toward her. I felt awful about it!!! So I've been praying for Heavenly Father to help me love her to have more sympathy and patience with her. This week she has developed a weird skin disease. We're not totally sure what it is yet, but they are running tests for what they think it is.

The cool part is that I am suddenly much more loving with her. I am more patient and willing to just stop and hold her when she needs it. I find myself feeling those feelings it has been so hard for me to feel for many months now.

Yeah, I think it's sad that I needed something visual to remind me she isn't just trying to annoy me, that she is actually uncomfortable and needs her mommy. I don't want her to have a disease, but I feel like a prayer has been answered and in a way I'm grateful for it.

Is that weird?

How to talk so kids will listen . . . part 2

How to Engage a Child's Cooperation

This will be fast, because these techniques are pretty self-explanatory.

When faced with a child who doesn't feel like listening to your instructions or remembering to follow the rules, the following are ways to engage cooperation.

1. Describe what you see (or the problem)

2. Give information without accusing (Don't start the sentence with "You're doing" or "You did")

3. Say it with a one-word reminder

4. Describe what you feel (I don't like tripping over shoes!)

5. Write a note. You can make it humorous

I really got the feeling as I read this book that I talk too much. My kids simply hear too many words coming out of my mouth. How can they know which ones to listen to, if I'm blathering all the time.

I recently started giving the boys 10 seconds to comply before I would repeat an instruction. Amazingly, I am reminding less by being more patient. And they don't have to listen to me harp on them.

The other tip here is to not make it personal. No attacks! There's no room for accusations and derogatory tones in a home where we want to encourage the Holy Spirit to dwell.

So tell me your best tips for getting a kid to listen and do what you say.