Want to know if you're doing a good job speaking kindly to your children and moderating your tone of voice?
Listen to what's coming out of those same children's mouths.
"STOP IT!" "No!" "Owwwwwwwww-uh!"
Do you hear a lot of whining? Moaning? Bickering? Complaining? General expressions of discontent? I can tell you that the phrases and tones that drive me crazy, my kids picked up from their parents, friends, and favorite movies.
And I have control over those influences! I can pay attention to what's coming out of my mouth. I can carefully screen the screens, so to speak. I can watch when friends come over and encourage kind speech.
The influence we have over children is incredibly powerful stuff. So let's hear it, tell me what your kids say that's nails on a chalkboard to you.